58 Years of Marriage

Today is my 58th anniversary of wedded bliss. My son asked me last night if we were still in love. I had to pause for a moment before I answered. It is not that I questioned my love for my husband, I just have always been a little confused I am thinking about the word “love.” I do not think I have ever felt that giddy feeling that many people identify with love. I used to worry a little bit about that, wondering if I had really experienced “love.” I have come to understand that for me love is not about being giddy with butterflies in my stomach. I identified myself as being a pragmatic some time back and I do not believe pragmatics feel that kind of love. I know I love my children and I love my husband. I have had many experiences I have loved. For me love is an emotion that is real and full of commitment and that is what I feel towards the man with whom I have spent over a half century. I am confident in his love for me, and I do not try to identify what that means for him. He tells me often enough of that love and more importantly he shows that love by his respect and devotion to our vows.  

I hear of people who fall in and out of love. Those kinds of emotions temporarily fill a gap and like a sieve, the material filling the gap dissipates leaking through the fabric of lives having to be replenished with another stop gap filler.  

My marriage has not been 58 years of “over the moon” happiness. We have had quarrels regarding finances, disciplining our children, in-law disagreements, major health issues, and personal preferences. We’ve had to deal with the emotional upheaval of losing a child. There were instances where either one of us considered throwing up our hands and looking for an effortless way out of a difficult circumstance. The thing that kept us together was our family and looking back I know we made the right decision. A lot of it involves a good understanding of the purpose of life and our view of the Plan of Salvation. On July 12, 1963, I do not think either of us saw our marriage in this light. We wanted to be married and live together in our little house at 260 North 1st Street in Tooele, Utah. Coming to terms with the commitment we made on that day was a lengthy process and looking back, I know we made the right decision.  

We have four wonderful children, and they are a blessing to us. I wonder if they would be as well-adjusted, and thriving had we broke up our family in favor of our individual selfish desires. My husband is a good man. He has been faithful and true to me, a good provider for our family, and a faithful Priesthood holder. I respect and honor him, and I do love him. I have committed myself to him and I believe I have helped him become the man he is just as he has helped me to become the wife and mother and daughter of God that I am. I am proud of both of us. We promised across the altar 58 years ago to honor one another through it all and to raise a righteous family unto him and we are living up to that promise. I do not know how much longer we will be together here on this earth, but I do know that God has promised that our partnership will go on for eternity and I cannot imagine not having that relationship.