My sister recently asked me to write something about how I’ve managed to have what she sees as an interesting and successful life. I gave it some thought and found the answer in a paper I wrote almost 30 years ago for an English class I took in an adult education setting. I have to say that by no means do I see myself through my sister’s eyes. I see myself most often as rather flaky because I am a dabbler. I worked as a secretary for nearly my whole adult life, but not at the same place. I am easily bored and often changed jobs to get a new perspective. I enjoy talking with interesting people about varied subjects. I became acquainted once with a lady who owned our town’s only radio station and ended up working for her part-time as a newscaster and recording commercials. I rubbed shoulders with some amazing journalists representing some of the bigger establishments at various events I attended. I could go on and list other examples of my eclectic life, but the point my sister wanted me to make is how I’ve managed to collect such a wide variety of experiences, aside from the fact that I’m old and naturally have collected experiences. The paper I referred to above was in answer to an assignment to write about the most influential person in my life. I’ve done some editing of that paper, but the message has not changed. I entitled my paper, “First Sight,” and think it answers my sister’s question quite nicely.
I read something recently asking the question, “How open-minded are you?” The article was short and well done and by the end of it, I reconsidered the opening question in a more personal nature. I’ve identified several instances where I took a close-minded stance. In an effort of self-improvement, I want to write about this subject and perhaps help others.
The first thing we need to do is to consider the definition of being close-minded. These people don’t want their ideas challenged and find it frustrating to get the other person to agree at all. They are more interested in proving themselves right than in getting the best outcome. In listening to Dr. Phil, I hear him say quite often, “Do you want to fix this problem, or do you just want to be right?”
On the other hand, an open-minded person is curious as to why the other person disagrees and is willing to hear them out. They don’t mind changing their mind after consideration of what may be new facts. They may decide to present their position in a different way so the other person can reconsider as well. There may even come the point where both people decide to agree to disagree. This sort of conversation can be stimulating but must remain civil for the benefit of both sides.
Being open-minded is a signal of humility. It means that we are willing to realize that we do not know everything, that we are open to learning something in a different light. It’s a part of our maturation process because we question things we’ve likely taken for granted.
The benefit of being open-minded can usually lead to something better. Historically speaking, any new invention has been preceded by someone who figured out a way to do something in a new and better way. The result of that decision is what has given us the technology, many comforts, and medical breakthroughs we enjoy today. Those are extreme examples of being open-minded. Imagine the advantages we could have in our individual lives if we opened ourselves to possibilities.
Perhaps we need to question everything and delve into other prospects reconsidering long-held stances. We might find that our viewpoint is valid and worthy of our support. On the other hand, we may realize there is an alternative perspective that better reflects our views. Just because we decide to change our minds doesn’t mean we are flaky. It means we are flexible enough to depict a new understanding.
I believe the purpose of my life on this earth is to gain experience. Because I believe in God, I feel the experience I gain temporally will somehow help me in my immortal life. For that reason, I must be open-minded and do my best to consider all possibilities based on the information available. I must admit I’m slightly envious of my grandchildren who have so much of life ahead of them. At the same time, I’m scared for them and hope they can navigate through the mists of darkness that have often blinded me to worthwhile possibilities.
I found a great video on You Tube about being open-minded and will include the link. It is one of many done by it’s creator.
It’s 2019, the year is fast coming to a close and within hours 2020 will make a grand entrance. Through the years my New Year’s resolutions have included losing weight, eliminating debt, learning a foreign language and refining various skills. Every year I vow to finish a box of craft projects I’ve accumulated in various stages of completion. Generally, my resolve weakens as the weeks and months go by and I end up feeling defeated once again. However, in retrospect, it occurs to me that I eat healthier than I ever have, I know a smattering of Tagalog and Spanish, I can read music well enough to plunk out a tune on the piano and I have better spending habits than I practiced many years ago. My biggest failing keeps company in that box of unfinished craft projects. I certainly haven’t perfected any of my resolutions. I am a work in progress and I take a small measure of pride in that accomplishment.
As a Welderly, I live my life amongst a wide spectrum of ages, from grandchildren to adult children to my peers. I find the years going by with increasing speed, and sometimes I feel that I’m being left behind by family members. It’s very confusing because I don’t want them hovering over me and treating me like a helpless older woman. At the same time, I feel despondent when I don’t get a phone call or when communication seems perfunctory. My children are all good people with families and jobs and lots of responsibilities, and I’ve always been independent. We’re doing a delicate dance at this point, neither of us sure who should be leading and probably not even understanding the way to dance because we don’t know what kind of music each has in his or her head. We also don’t know what kind of moves the other can do. I often feel that people are haphazardly bumping into the ladder where I’m precariously teetering on the top rung, hoping they don’t see that I’m scared.
Eva Fry recently marked her 80th birthday with a grand celebration and she did it with a big smile on her beautiful face and many plans for the future. I managed to get her to sit still for an hour and visit with me about her full life. She’s physically active, keeps herself mentally stimulated and is grateful for her many talents. She’s a singer, a song writer, a champion walker, an author, a pageant winner, a comedienne, a motivational speaker, a dedicated swimmer, a survivor, and a life-long positive thinker.
A recent knee injury slowed Eva down a little. She’s replaced her daily run with power walking and swimming and as the current Ms. Idaho Senior America will participate in the 2019 National Pageant in Atlantic City, New Jersey slated for the end of October.
My sister asked me to tackle a couple of subjects with blog posts, the first being how my birth position in our family might have influenced the way I handle my role as a grandmother. This is no small feat considering I have a brood close to a couple dozen.
I am the eldest in a family of six children with four sisters and a brother. I use the present tense with these associations even though all have passed with the exception of me and one sister. Breast cancer took our mom when she was but 56 years of age and colon cancer claimed a 42-year-old sister as well as my brother before he reached the age of 60. Two more sisters died within months of each other from Type 2 Diabetes complications. That same condition caused the death of my father when he was 78 years old.
I include this prelude to help you understand that life to me is precious and living a life where quality is as important as quantity is important to me. That said, I decided a long time ago to do what I could to live a healthy life, thus I don’t smoke or drink alcohol. I’ve also been proactive as far as having regular good health screenings with medical professionals. If I could more effectively control my weight, I’m sure I’d be better off.
At the top of my list of things to do today is a lecture entitled “Applying Traditional Eastern Medicine to Promote Health and Well-Being,” by Kaoru Yamamoto, PhD, Professor, Intercultural Consultant/Trainer, Kinetic Coach.
I left this morning with time to spare and decided to use a parking space farthest away to get some walking steps in. I got to the classroom with about five minutes to spare, found a seat, filled out a name card, and started filling out the registration form. I quickly took in the classroom and noticed many posters dealing with pain management. I also noted the people who obviously were in charge of the class did not appear to be of eastern descent mirroring anyone named Dr. Yamamoto. I decided I better verify my place and found out I was not.
There is a grouping of buildings and I am directed to go to entry door 3 of the building behind my current location. The time is tight, but I can walk fast when I have to and I am getting in my steps. I left the building, crossed a bridge spanning a small gully and took a path winding around the front of the building through a nice garden. I wanted to make the most of what is now a very tight time schedule, so I went directly to the information desk. “No ma’am, that lecture is at the building across the street,” the receptionist told me as she smiled.
Life is wonderful or at least it should be. I believe we are on this earth as part of a grand plan with a purpose to gain experience and to enjoy all of God’s creations. I also believe it goes beyond that. I don’t know that there’s much we can do to orchestrate where we are raised or the circumstances of our life. This said I believe we are all spirit brothers and sisters, have a common set of Heavenly parents and our lives on this earth are part of a grand design we agreed to in the preexistence. I don’t think our creator is completely managing our lives. I think He may have a general plan for us just as we have a general plan for our children. We recognize that our responsibility is to help them gain the wherewithal to take care of themselves and to contribute positively to our world. We’re born into families and conditions of varying circumstances. Our challenge is to navigate our way through that jungle. It isn’t easy and certainly not always fair from our limited point of view.
I’ve often wondered why I was born into what I deem to be an ordinary family while others I know of are born into abject poverty and a lifetime of sacrifice. My life hasn’t been one with ideal circumstances, but my parents always made sure there was food on the table and a roof over our heads and I knew they loved us. I was never abused at all and I never felt disadvantaged. I knew our family did not have many things I assumed other people had. It didn’t bother me, I just figured that’s the way it was. It took a while for me, but I finally figured out that my mindset made the difference in how I perceived my truth. I recall as a young wife and mother finally understanding that I was in charge of my own contentment. At one point I briefly considered looking for something that would make me happier. It’s not like I had some grand ah-hah moment, but I believe that the Lord inspired me to know that I needed to be content and concentrate more on the goodness around me rather than obsessing about what I might be lacking. I’m just saying what I decided for myself. I’m not advocating that people who do otherwise are somehow at fault. My conclusions are mine, they fit me not other people.
I’ve pondered over the meaning of love. I have friends and family members who talk about “falling in love” and often those same people use the term, “we just fell out of love.” I guess for me I figured that people were either “in love” or just hadn’t found that relationship. I thought if you were “in love” you were there for the long haul.
As a teenager, I recall that twitterpated feeling in my stomach when a boy named Robert Stewart passed by. I felt light-headed and was sure I would pass out if he so much as looked at me, not even dreaming he would ever say hello. Once at a junior high school sock hop, he asked me to dance and it was all I could do to nod my head in the affirmative, let alone chat while dancing. Looking back, I’m sure I was the biggest dweeb ever. I knew I had botched my big chance for “true love.”
Lake Point Days 2019 conjured memories for me, a former Lake Point kid. This little farming area located in Tooele County Utah celebrated 165 years with the celebration. Pioneers of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who settled in the Tooele Valley were organized on April 24, 1850 into a branch of the Church by Ezra T. Benson. By mid-1854, E.T. City had been established in the area and then renamed Lake Point in 1923.
No, I didn’t live there way back then. My family moved to Lake Point in the Spring of 1957 when I was almost 14 years old. As a typical teenage girl, it was the worst day of my life. I had to leave all my friends, my school, and my comfort zone to move to a place where there might be a hundred families. It seemed like the whole town consisted of cousins, except to us of course. I was miserable and determined not to like it, no matter what.
I lived in that community for another six years and I learned to tolerate and even enjoy my associations. In July 1963, I moved about 15 miles south to live with my new husband in the metropolis known as Tooele, Utah, population 9,000. I’ve lived a lot of places in the ensuing 56 years, but this day I returned to enjoy the yearly celebration of what I consider my hometown, now numbering close to 2000 people. These days it has some of the nicest, most spacious homes in Tooele County.
I went to visit grandchildren last year, and my ten-year-old grandson immediately wanted to show me something really scary. I followed him to the upstairs bathroom. He cautiously opened the door and pointed to the far sink. He didn’t want to go any further himself. I stepped 
in, and there in the basin were rocks. I looked at the youngster and then reached out toward the rocks. He shouted, “No, don’t touch those. Something is growing on them, and they might poison you.” I quickly withdrew my hand and looked closer. He warned me again, adding, “Aliens touched them.” “Where did they come from,” I asked, “And who put them there?” He told me his older sister emptied her fish tank and put the rocks in the sink. “I haven’t seen her all day,” he added. He said he was afraid the rocks had something to do with her not being around. I assured him I didn’t think that was the case and further that the rocks had barnacle looking growths on them, akin to things that grow over time underwater. I explained to him that I had seen like growths on boats and that his sister was no doubt out having fun with friends.