Wonderful Adventures of Being a Grandparent

My sister asked me to tackle a couple of subjects with blog posts, the first being how my birth position in our family might have influenced the way I handle my role as a grandmother. This is no small feat considering I have a brood close to a couple dozen.

I am the eldest in a family of six children with four sisters and a brother. I use the present tense with these associations even though all have passed with the exception of me and one sister.   Breast cancer took our mom when she was but 56 years of age and colon cancer claimed a 42-year-old sister as well as my brother before he reached the age of 60. Two more sisters died within months of each other from Type 2 Diabetes complications. That same condition caused the death of my father when he was 78 years old.

I include this prelude to help you understand that life to me is precious and living a life where quality is as important as quantity is important to me. That said, I decided a long time ago to do what I could to live a healthy life, thus I don’t smoke or drink alcohol. I’ve also been proactive as far as having regular good health screenings with medical professionals. If I could more effectively control my weight, I’m sure I’d be better off.

The second part of my grandmother-type philosophy is based on family examples. Our family had one set of grandparents who lived close to us and whom I saw almost daily as I grew up. They were good people who raised a family of ten children during the Great Depression and those children then produced 53 grandchildren. My grandpa was a very tall man and he had a wonderful infectious laugh. His eyes squinted when he chuckled and he scarcely contained that merriment. My grandma barely stood tall enough to reach his shoulder, had a dry wit and was a no-nonsense woman. I don’t remember ever feeling a personal connection with any of my grandparents.

When I grew up and married, I married a man who was the youngest in his family and he had an older sister the same age as my mother. Her name was Vivian. I watched the way she handled her grandmother role. She took a personal interest in each grandchild. She spent time with each doing special activities. When she retired from her employment, she decided to learn to paint and went on to create some beautiful pieces of art. I have many hanging in my home and I love them. Her daughter and son-in-law had a catering business and Vivian used her artistic talents to make flower arrangements and helped to create stunning backdrops. Vivian’s fruit and cream pies are legendary and her hand-made ceramic baby dolls are exquisite. My eldest son still remembers his Aunt Vivian instructing him about whisking the gravy for Thanksgiving dinner on the stove assuring it to be lump free. I list all these qualities because she managed to involve each of her grandchildren in her activities and today her granddaughters make flaky pie crusts, creamy pies, fruity delectable delicacies and display the dolls in their own homes their grandmother left behind. Vivian’s artistic side has been duplicated by several grandchildren and those qualities are being passed on to her great grandchildren along with precious memories.

I saw all this happening and I told my husband, “I want to be the same kind of grandmother as Vivian.” Now, I’m not artistic and I really don’t consider myself to be a good cook and I have to have a lot of direction to complete crafty things. That said, I started to contemplate what I could do someday as a grandmother to create memories and build relationships.

As a grandchild joins our eternal family, I present him or her with an original song composed especially for and about them. Each receives a hand-made quilt with personalized pictures including the song printed on the fabric. As they get big enough to be away from mom and dad, grandpa and I take the birthday boy or girl out to lunch for a special celebration.

This is Jake’s song. He’s our first grandchild and his is the first of 20 songs.

During these early years I worked for an airline and with buddy pass access I was able to treat several grandchildren to weekend jaunts. My favorite story has to do with an excursion to NASA in Texas with Jake, our oldest grandchild.

We flew from Salt Lake City and then I rented a car from the airport to drive to NASA. We got there early evening and were both hungry. I decided to pick something up and take it to our hotel room. I stopped at a quick stop where the eight-year-old and I selected a couple of sandwiches, some fruit and soda and then stood in line to make our purchase. The store was slightly crowded with people of Hispanic descent speaking a language neither of us understood. The clerk behind the counter was perhaps of Arabian descent, based on his headwrap.  Jake was taking in everything. He tugged on my shirt wanting to get my attention. I looked at him and he said, “Grandma, are we still in America?” It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. I don’t think anyone heard him or maybe they didn’t understand his English.

I took twin granddaughters to Houston where we stayed in a hotel, swam in the pool and went out to dinner. The biggest challenge was keeping track of two very active little girls who knew no fear. I saw Lion King on Broadway with another granddaughter and enjoyed the sites of New York City on foot with yet another granddaughter.

There were other trips, some pretty grand and others fairly mundane. The point of all of them was to spend one on one time and build friendship. These days my routine includes birthday cards for everyone and a token gift of some sort. Occasionally, I send text messages to the older grandchildren just to remind them that I love them and encourage them to make good choices.

For several weeks this past summer I enjoyed the company of four boy cousins between the ages of 14 to almost 16. I loved having this foursome, but one day decided they needed to expand their horizons and I needed some quiet time. I bought them day passes to the city bus, took them to the bus stop, gave them each a map of the city with my phone number and told them to go explore the town. They had so much fun, they asked if they could do it again a few days later. I stress that I loved having them visit, but I was happy to oblige their request too. My biggest challenge with that visit was keeping them filled up with food and I think it ought to be a yearly affair from now on.

Being a grandparent is a wonderful adventure, not nearly as stressful as being a parent. I heartily recommend this experience.